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over the phone

There are some days when I want to set my blackberry on fire and watch it slowly burn into a cool metallic molasses of jpegs and mp3s. I've never been a die-hard fan of all the latest and greatest in modern technology, but I think it's quite unavoidable to not incorporate it into your life in one way or another. But this post is about contempt and not praise or gratitude. With that said, I feel as though cell phones are slowly but surely extinguishing any real relationships we have with people... but maybe that's just me. I seem to be the only one annoyed with it- or maybe just the only one that vocalizes any frustrations. I understand that cell phones help us to keep in contact with each other. They definitely help on those days when you're lost in a big city and can't find your way or when you're at the airport and need to call your brother to pick you up or when you're driving around trying to figure out which of your favorite restaurants is open for breakfast on Sunday. But what about the times when you are hanging out with your best friend over a coffee or sitting quietly at church or taking notes in the middle of a huge lecture hall or having a lovely dinner with someone special? Those are the times when I just want to shoot myself in the head. I mean, if it's just me and taking a cell phone call would be super inconvenient, I can always not answer the phone. But it is a little annoying when your blackberry messenger keeps going off or you're receiving ten texts in a row. But to me, the most horrible, heart-breaking thing in the world is when I'm trying to have a nice time with someone- just spend quality time with quality friends and they refuse to put away that stupid, annoying little sister of a pile of junk that we call a cell phone. I feel so pushed to the side. I'm sitting there in silence, enjoying my meal, coffee and what not and here they are typing away on their blackberry. I feel like I'm staring off into space and having a meal all by myself. In fact, I would rather just not hang out all together and postpone it to a time when I can actually have someone's full attention. As we all know, it's quality over quantity. I would rather see you once a week and have a great, uninterrupted time than to see you every single day and only have a small percent of your attention. Please, save me the humiliation. Really, it's quite embarassing to be sitting with someone that is completely infatuated with their cell phone and has obviously decided to disregard you entirely.

I really value my relationships with people. I like to talk. I like to hug. I like to see the facial expressions you make when I say outlandish things. I like to hear the sound of your laugh unmuffled and void of static interruption. I like giving power high-fives for totally excellent creative comments... But I can't do any of that... on my blackberry.

big brother

that there is my amazing band of brothers and sisters in order of appearance... second from the left... that's dom. he is my older brother and one of the bravest people on earth. he is also one of my heroes. today is his birthday... so i raise my glass to him. i am so thankful to have a big brother like dominic. on top of taking care of us our whole lives, he's taken on the father-figure role since dad passed away. he's kind, considerate, and funny. he will be the last to start a fight and the first to offer a helping hand. he takes care of the check. he opens doors. he'll buy you drinks until you're drunk AND drive you home. and if anyone ever tried to lay a hand on anyone of his friends, it would be advised that they run and run fast or risk a quick and painful beat-down. when we were younger, we would take the bus home together... once we reached our stop... he would run- completely ditch me... leave me in the dust... he was trying to be funny but he always knew that i was running right behind him, as fast as i could... and i'd like to think that he did that to make me brave. you know, toughen me up some. and look at me now- i'm a damn ninja. so thanks bro...for everything... happy birthday and love you always.

my silver

tomorrow is my 25th birthday!!! that's right... 25 years of joy... 25 years of being lucky enough to live this life... 25 years to be completely thankful for.



today is such a happy day for me. of course in these 25 years, i've had my not-so-good days... you know those days. if you know me well, you know that i've definitely had my lows. but today, even with all of the good and bad days in mind, all i feel is happy... and it's all just going to keep building up until tomorrow!



so cheers to those who have made my 25 years happy ones... to those who have made me smile and laugh... to those who have given me hugs for no reason... to those who have sent me cards when i was feeling down... to those who have texted me "sweet dreams"... to those who know my favorite starbucks drink... to those who have told me i'm not fat... to those who have held my hair back... to those who have made me a cd... to those who have stayed on the phone 'til 4 in the morning... to those who have shared dessert with me... to those who have danced 'til the lights came up... to those who have tucked me into bed when i couldn't do it myself... from the bottom of my heart, i love you.

tall strawberry lemonade s'il vous plait

i am having a lovely tall strawberry lemonade- best decision i've made all morning. i have so much energy right now- i don't know what to do with it all. it's been daaaaays since the last time i've said anything here. but for your entertainment and mine, i'm back! i refuse to ruin my mood by talking about emo stuff. life is grand and sugar is sweet. that is my only concern right now. cheers to you all... and a special cheers to my baby sister stacey who happens to have just turned 21 yesterday! =) i heart you angel!

beautiful people with beautiful feelings

... thanks to Donnie Miller, genius.

realization

it's recently become clear to me, that although i seem rather anxious to share my thoughts with "the world" through this online journal, not very many people- if any at all- read this. so i guess from now on, it's most of all going to be for myself and left public just in case it all catches anyone's attention.

honestly, it's actually somewhat of a relief to know that at this point, my own thoughts can't really be held accountable in the case that someone might come across this all and have some sort of awkard awakening. that's not my intent. i never really meant for my words to be powerful. it's all just stuff i think about.

and if you are reading this, i appreciate your patience and warn you of my arbitrary babbling. you are always welcome to sit and stay awhile.